Burning moon....

Narambuku nuduvey nadhigal nagarum
nadhi irundhalum naavey ularum
..........................
Pachai thaneer Veppamagum
Yechil pandham amurthamagum
.........................
Mazhai thulli namakku samudhram aagum
Samudiram yellam thuliyai poogum
.....................
Sathiya kaadhal yennam seiyum
Chandira oliaye aadaiyai neyum.....

Wild imagination and unusal metaphors for a duet?

Good old friend

I have always fantasized this. Speaking my heart out to someone I love a lot at some place I like a lot. Fantasies no longer hold their respect when they are encountered in life. This can be pronounced as one of my wannabe dead fantasies.

(The following description may be boring; there is no harm in skipping the next two paragraphs)
Sitting on the top of the mountain, where one could see planes taking off and landing at a distant airport, feeling the gentle breeze of the neem tree that stands majestically above the bench, with an occasional bell tolling from the nearby church, really it is one of the not so cloudy evening that lovers never wish to miss. We are two. For a third person we might sound unusual for the situation. Two men - one in his late twenties looking at the runway without a life, besides was a man in his sixties smiling at his neighbor. One could easily find the resemblance on their visage.

The scene may appear stale as we made our surrounding still by our hour long silence. The oldie gently touches his young partner's head. He turns with a wet pair of eyes. Ah! the story begins...

"What is the problem?" - he asked. He? My father. I am here with my dad on the eve of the big occasion in my life. It might sound crazy. A twenty eight year old guy spending one romantic evening with his dad in a nearly isolated mountain top. One evening in my nineteen days vacation seems like a costly effort, but being stingy doesn't pay off always. Isn't it?

"Are you afraid of something?" he is straightforward.

"No"

"Is something not okay at your office? Or something else? Whatever it may be. Just let it out."

I was waiting for a lead. Thought these words are not so strong, they gave me some courage. " I always wanted to talk to you about this....I am not alright with...I don't like what I am...." I blabbered a lot.

"Mmm.."

Only a Mmm from him. I almost broke and cried.

"Big boys don't cry."

"I am not big"

"Well, you are twenty eight"

"Years doesn't make sense. Its what I am now, at 'twenty eight'" - may be I sounded harsh.

"Hah, you are a engineer working for a fortune 500 company near the Pacific coast, visiting your homeland once in two years for a fortnight an...."

"You are proud of me?" - I shouldn't have interrupted.

His look? I am not that smart to comprehend it. All I could see now is a plane getting ready for its take off.

"Don't you act as an ignorant. You saw the email. I was hurt".

"It happens. People are bound to forget. Is that you are worrying about? You silly".

"No. I am not silly. I don't forget things. I remember and try to remember as much as I can. He made me a clown, er... a joker".

"...."

"Do you know how he used to treat me at school? Always coming to me for doubts. You don't know anything. You were always absent in my life. Never tried to see anything about me. I always came first. He was never close to me. I didn't even consider him as a competition. He was just another kid for me. Now he is asking who the hell I am. Bloody...."

"...."

"It is still a puzzle. How could he suddenly come from nowhere? Hmm... still a puzzle. I didn't waste my time. I studied as I was before. Wasn't he having the same emotions I had then. I thought every teenager will have those. was he a saint? How could he be? How the hell he could get into the school? Okay.. I didn't try for it, but now I feel I should have."

"...."

"Wonder how life changes in a competitive exam. He got, I missed. Went to different schools. I ended up with a Masters. He became a doctorate. Working as the VP in a Fortune 100 company. High respect, higher perks, highest degree. Now what? Asking me who am I. People forget people when they graduate. All in a single exam. He..he..never.." I am exhausted now, kind of wheezing, and hiccing up.

"So what are you planning to do now?"

My look. I am sure he understood till the last letter.

"Well. You are now offended. Aren't you my boy? That's good. Dreams can never be accused of, neither can be the events. Yes poeple forget things. But you remember everything. I mean 'everything' that you are supposed to forget....... By the way, did you see this?"

A greeting card from Jay. Jay? Who is he? The tall guy at the back or from my old neighborhood?

"It is getting dark. Let's go home. We have a packed day tomorrow".

For an outside viewer our return should have been the eeriest visual. The two were walking down the hill, with the young one sliding on the oldie and the elder one cajoling the kid. There was a feeble noise. It was not clear. Perhaps some weeping sound that was subdued by the landing noise of the airplane.

Fantasies are lovely when they are not alive. why should I kill my fantasies?

Amaz(e)ing game

But I am still sitting alone before my computer and staring at the windows. Slowly opening and minimizing them, one by one. Yahoo! games - cards that have become my favorite both on and off screen, cricinfo - WI win by a single, stickcricket - playing hard to beat the same WI, a few other blogs, my email, newspaper, imdb, the list seems to be a never-ending one. And yes... I forgot to say about the music plaing in the media player.

We never want to go by rules. Rules demand discipline and discipline means regularity. If there is one thing that a human wants to get rid of is routine; his daily "day". I have been wondering for sometime what remains if one throws his day out? Where he lives? Vacuum? Space? A black hole? call it any name as you want. Whatever it may be; the empty 'something' transforms into a routine. The inevitable happens.

This game is interesting. Glass or grass - the maze has no outlet. How much ever you try, you either see yourself or see the same green leaves that you tore in your last attempt. One thing I don't like here is the game is deceptive. It gives you the feel that have won, but the next minute you see yourself caught in another maze.

At one place, you change your goal in the game. The new goal is simple - get out the game. By the way you don't have to worry about getting back to the game since you won't be out of the game ever. The goal sucks, so the game exists...or, it the other way round?

Holy...., I forgot what I want to say. I won the game, I mean I got the way out. I successfully changed my routine and started having my own way for the last few weeks!!! Oops..did I tell something foolish?